My husband put this together on his FB page. It’s the actual police report from Chris Brown’s assault on Robyn Rihanna Fenty, only with “Robyn F.” changed to “you.” Warning: trigger for physical abuse and violent physical assault, because THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED.

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Dear Women Who Would Let Chris Brown Beat Them,

Congratulations on your life choice. Following is a series of exciting events you can expect now that you have compromised your safety to be with someone “so hot”:

Brown will be driving a vehicle with you as the front passenger on an unknown street in Los Angeles. You will pick up Brown’s cellular phone and observe a three-page text message from a woman who Brown had a previous sexual relationship with.

A verbal argument will ensue and Brown will pull the vehicle over on an unknown street, reach over you with his right hand, open the car door and attempt to force you out. Brown will be unable to force you out of the vehicle because you are wearing a seat belt. When he can not force you to exit, he will take his right hand and shove your head against the passenger window of the vehicle, causing an approximate one-inch raised circular contusion.

You will turn to face Brown and he will punch you in the left eye with his right hand. He will then drive away in the vehicle and continue to punch you in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand. The assault will cause your mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter all over your clothing and the interior of the vehicle. Brown will look at you and state, “I’m going to beat the shit out of you when we get home! You wait and see!”

You will then use your cell phone to call your personal assistant Jennifer Rosales, who will not answer. You will pretend to talk to her and state, “I’m on my way home. Make sure the police are there when I get there.”

After you fake the call, Brown will look at you and state, “You just did the stupidest thing ever! Now I’m really going to kill you!” Brown will resume punching you and you will interlock your fingers behind you head and bring you elbows forward to protect your face.

You will then bend over at the waist, placing your elbows and face near your lap in an attempt to protect your face and head from the barrage of punches being levied upon you by Brown. Brown will continue to punch you on your left arm and hand, causing you to suffer a contusion on your left tricep that will be approximately two inches in diameter and numerous contusions on your left hand.

You will then attempt to send a text message to your other personal assistant, Melissa Ford. Brown will snatch the cellular telephone out of your hand and throw it out of the window onto an unknown street. Brown will not know what you did with the key and begin punching you in the face and arms.

He will then place you in a head lock positioning the front of your throat between his bicep and forearm. Brown will begin applying pressure to your left and right carotid arteries, causing you to be unable to breathe and you will begin to lose consciousness. You will reach up with your left hand and begin attempting to gouge his eyes in an attempt to free yourself.

Brown will bite your left ring and middle fingers and then release you. While Brown continues to punch you, you will turn around and place your back against the passenger door. You will bring your knees to you chest, place your feet against Brown’s body and began pushing him away. Brown will continue to punch you on the legs and feet, causing several contusions.

You will begin screaming for help and Brown will exit the vehicle and walk away. A resident in the neighborhood will hear your plea for help and called 911, causing a police response. An investigation will be conducted and you will be issued a Domestic Violence Emergency Protective Order.