My mom is starting chemo this week. My parents are on food stamps and have finally admitted they don’t always have enough to eat. I have a master’s application and a fellowship interview to get through this week and then I’m trying to make sure they have enough money not to get kicked out of their apartment for at least six months, the main leg of my mom’s treatment. My dad has made it clear that if I go to his family and ask for help he’ll lose his shit with me. He’s also implied that we should find housing for my mother and then he will voluntarily become homeless so we don’t have to worry about him anymore. I’m still unemployed but honestly, that’s the least of my concerns right now.

I’m short of breath. I’m running out of ideas. I’m running out of strength. I’m running out of song and dance numbers with which to convince my son that everything is perfectly fine. I don’t know what the fuck to do.